Purpose in Pain: Peace in the Storm

At 4 a.m. the day after learning about the loss of our baby and just hours before we would head to the hospital for the procedure, God woke me gently with these words that I wrote down.

In Christ we can stand in the midst of tragedy amazed by the power of God. In what should be our weakest moment we can find strength we never dreamed of. While life’s storm rages around us, we can find complete peace from the only One who says, “Peace, be still.” (Mark 4:39)

Last year, when I was organizing a women’s conference for our church and the day was almost here, I was thinking over all I had to do. In my spirit (so clearly it was nearly audible) I heard God say, “I got it!” It was an amazing feeling, and for the rest of that week I walked in joy and peace instead of fear and anxiety. I was able to enjoy that time instead of being completely stressed out. And undoubtedly I was a much better reflection of the message I was hoping to convey than if I had been a complete mess.

I challenge you to remember these words from God. If you find yourself in a moment of worry or fear hear God say, “I got it!” And let that be the end of it. What peace! God knows your heart, and if you are earnestly seeking Him, He’ll take care of everything else!

“But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.” Matthew 6:33 (Amplified Bible)

Purpose in Pain: Backfire!

Don’t you just love it when good triumphs over evil?! Isn’t it great when the wicked fall into their own pit? (Proverbs 26:27)

I have always loved the story of Joseph (Genesis 37-50). Sold into slavery by his brothers and later sentenced unjustly to prison, Joseph never lost his faith. He knew God could pull him out of anything and eventually, not only did God get Joseph out of prison and slavery, but He gave Joseph favor and raised him up to second in command to Pharaoh!  (Eph. 3:20) Then, years later when there was a famine in the land, Egypt was prepared (because God had given Joseph foresight and wisdom). At their end, Joseph’s brothers came to beg for food and refuge. They had to beg this from Joseph, though they did not recognize him (assuming he would have died years ago). When Joseph revealed himself (and once their father (Jacob) had died) his brothers feared for their lives. But instead of using his power and authority to condemn them, Joseph delivered one of the most profound thoughts in scripture when he said, “What you intended for evil, God intended for good.”

WOW!  When this pregnancy tragically ended in the loss of the baby I was carrying Satan was very pleased with himself. I have known for years that God has called me into a fulltime ministry (though I do not yet know the full form that will take), and I’m sure Satan thought that this loss would be a sure setback and would halt, if not completely derail my progress, growth, and influence. I must say I had often wondered myself what I would do if ever faced with such a situation. But God, as He promised in scripture, was and is my Rock! When everything around me began to crumble, my foundation held! Talk about an ultimate backfire! Instead of stopping me in my tracks, it gave me more fuel! Because God was so faithful, and I had the opportunity to see and taste His truths and see the Word put to the test and prevail in my life as never before, I am more determined than ever to share of the great things God has done!

You see, if you and I will keep God in the forefront of our minds and keep our hearts turned toward Him, we will see this powerful scenario played out again and again in our own lives. And in doing so, we’ll open up the door not only for our own deliverance but for the benefit of others as they witness the power of our great God at work in our lives to turn tragedy into triumph.

Whatever you are going through, give it to God right now. He can use anything to bring Himself glory. And if we will pour out our lives before Him, He will take our darkest moments and use them to bring light to the world. What Satan intends for our evil, God will use for our good. Take that Satan!

Purpose in Pain: Jesus Has Overcome!

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

This verse has often been a source of strength, power and hope to me over the years. As I got ready for bed the night after learning that our baby was now with Jesus, I heard this in my Spirit, and it ministered to me more than ever. Read it again! (Please commit it to memory so when you need it, it will be there!)

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Christ never promised us a perfect or easy life, and anyone who was told that being a Christian meant that the things of this world won’t touch you was sorely deceived. Quite the opposite, Jesus warned us clearly that we would indeed have many trials and struggles just like everyone else. But in us there is a difference!

This scripture doesn’t mean the things of this world won’t happen to us. It means that in Christ we can (we will!) find the strength to rise above them! The difference between us and the world (those who don’t know Christ) is not that we don’t suffer, but rather that we are not affected the same way. The world will suffer and be struck down. We will suffer, but in Christ we will rise up higher!

“for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.” Proverbs 24:16

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Please take a moment to click the link below and let this song minister to you as is has to me. We too face pain and suffer trial, and yet, because of our risen Lord, we can stand again and say, “Bring it on world! For by the power of Christ, which lives in me, I will rise!”  

“I Will Rise” By Chris Tomlin   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yvfso4Q8xg

Purpose in Pain: The Power of Peace

We were given the option to have tests run to find out exactly what had caused the loss of the pregnancy. Both Tim and I said, without hesitation, that we did not need to know. I see nothing wrong with finding out, and had it been our first I believe we may have been more likely to opt for this testing; however, in this moment we were both able to just accept that God was in complete control and had it all taken care of. The fact that He knew what was going on was sufficient.

I have mentioned that scripture was put to the test in my life through this trial as never before. In addition to this, I began to see many scriptures that I had quoted for years in an entirely new way.

As I was getting ready for bed that night, I was trying to figure out how it was possible that I didn’t feel the need to ask why and that we had no need to be able to explain it all. Being such a strong type A personality, this is very against my nature. Then the Lord brought these verses to mind:

  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

I had always seen this scripture as describing a peace that could not be explained and that passed all reason. This is very true, but this night I understood an entirely new aspect of God’s peace. Not only does it pass understanding, but it surpasses understanding, meaning it is better than understanding! So it hit me; having the peace of God was better than having the scientific explanation.  Not only can God’s peace not be explained, but it means I need no explanation!

Think on that for a while. It is amazing. I can’t explain the peace we have, but because we have it we need no further understanding. Only God can do that…especially in someone like me who always feels the need to understand everything!

With this kind of peace we can take whatever life throws our way. But there is only one way to obtain this peace, and that is by coming to and abiding in the One who gives it.

So that night, wrapped in my husband’s arms and the Father’s love, I drifted off to sleep with a heavy heart but a spirit that was inexplicably strong and at peace.

“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. “ Matthew 5:4

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18

Purpose in Pain: Entering the Trial (part 2)

So we are at the imaging center. As soon as the technician puts the device on my belly the wonderful image of our precious baby is on the screen. There is no mistaking the head, the face, the tiny arms and legs all curled up inside me. Tim was right there next to me, and we both watched with held breath as the technician worked in complete silence for what seemed like forever. Having been through this before I had a pretty clear understanding of what I was looking at. I was 10 and a half weeks pregnant, but the baby was measuring at 9 and a half weeks. I wasn’t overly concerned about this, as the same happened with Mikaela. However, at the very end, a curser was placed over the baby’s chest, and I saw straight lines scrolling across the bottom of the screen. My heart began to sank, and I tighten my grip on Tim’s hand. The technician said she was going to take the images to the Radiologist and would return shortly. Tim was holding out hope, but I knew in my heart what we had just seen.

I was sitting on the edge of the table facing Tim, when the radiologist walked in the room. The results were written all over his face. “Unfortunately,” he began, “the tests confirm…” Anything else he said was lost on me as my heart jumped into my throat and Tim reached for me with both hands. The thing I had feared most was coming true. The doctor told us to take all the time we needed and left the room. There, in the dark room lit only by the glow of the monitors, Tim and I held each other (more like he held me), and I said the first thing that came to my mind… “I can't go through this again.”

I had been sick and fatigued with this pregnancy, but no more than with Mikaela (maybe even a bit less), but for some reason I had less tolerance for it this time around. And I was being plagued by intense fears, not only for this baby, but for Tim and Mikaela as well. I was daily (hourly) giving those fears to God, but they were wearing on me nonetheless. This pregnancy was zapping me on all levels, and to be completely honest, I never had complete peace about it. I had told myself weeks ago that if God would give us a healthy baby I would likely never want to put myself through this again (very different for my feelings when pregnant with Mikaela).

So here I am, my fears becoming reality. For a moment the room was closing in around us, and then, without me having to go search for it, without us uttering a word in prayer to ask for it, the peace of God began to settle in our hearts. I was filled with a quiet resolve that God was in control and all was going to be alright. (Romans 8:28) With tear-filled eyes and somber hearts, we left the imaging center and headed across the parking lot to meet with my doctor, who is a wonderful Christian lady and immediately hugged us both.  My first question for her was, “When can we try again?” That quickly God had comforted me and began to give me the desires of my heart. 

“Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 (NKJV)

This doesn’t mean He will give you whatever you want. It means that He will work in you and cause you to desire the things He wants for you.  This is how, if you are truly seeking Him, He leads you in the right path to all that He has for your life. And He, being our Father, only wants the best for us. And if we’ll let Him, He’ll blow our minds with what He does. (Luke 11:11-13, Eph 3:20)

With the D&C scheduled for the next day and so much swirling around me, my heart was at peace. Yes, I was sad and hurting, but God’s perfect peace was holding me. As we pulled into the garage this thought came to mind. “Let it not be in vain!” I want God to get all the glory and to use this tragedy in my life and in the lives of as many others as possible. I can hide, crumble into a corner and push everyone away, but then the loss of my baby would serve no one. So I want to tell everyone what has happened and most importantly what the Lord has done and is doing in our lives! So I already know the purpose for my baby’s life, short thought it was. His life will touch lives for years to come as the Lord gives me opportunity to share of His power and love through this difficult time. To God be the glory!

Please know that none of this is because of who I am. It is all because of Who God is! The feelings of peace, acceptance, and perseverance that I have and am experiencing have nothing to do with me…they are all fulfillment of God’s promises to us in scripture. He tells us to seek Him with all our hearts, “and the Peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)This is what I have tried to do, and when I needed it the most that peace was there, just like He said it would be!

I have done a lot of note jotting in the days since (much in the middle of the night for the first few nights when God would wake me up with a truth to hold to). I will continue this series by sharing these thoughts and truths that God is using so powerfully in my life.

Love and blessings to you all. Thank you for following my story…or rather God’s story He is working out in my life.

(I’ll be away from my computer the rest of the week. Look for the next post early next week.)

Ads Be Gone!

Happy Saturday, everyone!

I want to apologized for any misleading ads you may have seen on this site. I opened an account that permitted ads to be shone, and while none have been "inappropriate" from a moral stand point, several I have noticed have been contradictory to scripture. For this reason I have closed this account, and all ads should be removed shortly. I'm sorry for anything that may have given you pause. I want nothing here that is not in line with the Word of God and does not bring Him glory.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! The second post in the "Purpose in Pain" series will be up by Tuesday. Thank you for following.

Here is a verse to keep with you as you go about your day...

"We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us." 2 Corinthians 5:20a

WOW! That is quite a charge! If you have accepted Christ as your Savior, you are His representative to the world. Keep this in mind wherever you go. Each moment of your day is an opportunity to show His nature and His love. Let's show the world Who our God is through the love in our hearts and the smiles on our faces! :)